


Who You Are

by Meg_louise15



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Music, F/M, Friendship/Love, Inspired by Music, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4535955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meg_louise15/pseuds/Meg_louise15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity was fed up. She had done everything humanly possible to fit into their little world, but it just wasn’t worth it. She had gone from dyeing her hair to partying every weekend and she just couldn’t do it anymore. Was there any outcome that would grant Felicity the acceptance and contentment that she craved?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who You Are

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my dears!  
> So today i present you with a little one-shot I began writing last week, i am immensely happy with the outcome of it.  
> Anyone who knows me and my love fanfiction knows that I am obsessed with High school/College AUs, i love them so much, so i decided to try my hand at one.  
> The song I used was "Who You Are" Originally sung my Jessie J but i opted for the Ed Sheeran cover, therefore the lyrics are different. I wrote the lyrics by ear so I may have gotten some wrong so I do apologise for that.  
> I was immediately inspired to write a fic once this song/cover came on my shuffle, so tada! 
> 
> Link to cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjiEaSInikE
> 
> Meg xo

Felicity was fed up. She had done everything humanly possible to fit into their little world, but it just wasn’t worth it. She had gone from dyeing her hair to partying every weekend and she just couldn’t do it anymore.

It had all started back in her first year at Starling Academy. Felicity and her best friend in life and partner in crime too, in another name Oliver Queen, attended SA after they graduated high school. Felicity opted for computer sciences and Oliver for music. He was an incredible musician by the way so him being there wasn’t a big surprise. They were as thick as thieves, completely inseparable. Well, that was until half way through the first semester of college. Felicity didn’t fit it no matter what she did. She was the “Geek,” “Weird girl” and “Outcast” and no matter how much Oliver assured her that they were idiots and couldn’t fathom how remarkable she was, it still hurt Felicity to her core when they called her names or pushed her around in the hallway. Even her roommate was a nightmare, Isabel Rochev. She belittled Felicity for everything she was. Her hair, clothes, interests, hobbies and even her glasses.

So one day, Felicity decided to change everything. She had saved up money from her job at the local bookstore and went to the salon. She dyed her golden locks to a deep black-brown shade, contrasting her pale complexion and then she headed to a boutique downtown and bought all sorts of “Trendy” dresses, shorts, shirts and shoes.

After that, Felicity headed to her dorm, which was thankfully empty as Isabel was in class. Felicity stripped the entire room of who she really was for the facade of a girl she was becoming. She had forgone all of her posters, comics and TV shows and movie box sets for plain generic decor.

In the process of Felicity morphing into this unknown person, she lost Oliver. All he wanted was the real Felicity. The girl with the two-tone glasses not contact lenses; the same girl who would turn his songs into show tunes and dance around her room in her jammies with her blonde hair falling from its ponytail. And the woman she was now was most definitely not her.

Felicity and Isabel had become “friends” since Felicity changed and with that, Felicity met Laurel and Sara Lance, Nyssa Raatko and Thea Merlyn.

One night when Felicity got absolutely hammered, she ended up outside Oliver’s dorm. She and Oliver hadn’t spoken in months and even if she didn’t want to admit it, she missed him. She missed him so much.

She thumped her hand on the door, trying to steady herself on the door jab. Felicity looked like a mess. Her hair was flailing in every direction and she had some serious panda eyes and was bare foot as she was carrying her shoes because they were very uncomfortable.

A very sleepy Oliver Queen opened the door. Once he saw who it was, his face set into a deep frown. “What do you want Felicity?”

Felicity tried to detach herself from the door frame; she failed and fell back into her previous place.

“I want my bs’friend back.” Felicity slurred out, flicking her straight raven hair off her face.

“And I want mine.” Oliver told her with a heavy sigh.

“I’m right here! See?” Felicity waved her hand over her face.

“No Felicity, you’re not. You are the furthest thing from my best friend.”

“I’m still Fel'city and you’re still Ol'ver.”

“You may still have the same name, the same eyes and the same voice, but you are not my Felicity. My Felicity had beautiful blonde hair, the brightest smile, dragged me to comic book conventions and made me laugh every chance she could. I used to look at you and see so much happiness, so much light, but now I look at you and it kills me because this.” Oliver gestured toward her. “Is not you, this is a lie.”

“Oliver.” Felicity sniffled, tears pooling in her eyes.

“Don’t, just go. But know that, the real Felicity Smoak is the most remarkable person to ever grace this god damn earth and I want her back." Oliver didn’t wait for a response before he shut the door leaving Felicity standing alone in the dark corridor.

That was over three months ago and Felicity hadn’t spoken to Oliver since. She’d heard him practicing in the music room while she was walking to class and she’d even slip into the local bar where he played on Friday nights. She always stayed in the shadows so he didn’t see her and left just as he sang the last notes of his final song.

Felicity wasn’t exactly sure why she always ended up at Archers on Fridays, but somehow she always found herself ending up there no matter what. There was a part of her that wanted to just go back to how she used to be, to be herself again and have Oliver back, but if she did that she would just go back to being plain ol’ Felicity who was invisible to everyone. Except one Oliver Queen that was. One of the main things that had driven Felicity to changing was the fact that she was terrified that one day Oliver would get tired of her and just leave and she’d have no one left. But she had lost him anyways.

In becoming a person that had more people around her – even if they might have only been casual friends who had no idea who she really was. Although Felicity didn’t even care. “Didn’t” was the key word in that sentence – she had lost him. After endless months of partying until dawn, wearing sky high stilettos and crying herself to sleep, Felicity was ready to give up. Not give up as in go back, just give up all together and fall into a spiralling abyss.

It was the end of the college year and to celebrate they held a show in the auditorium. There was going to be various performances by students. All students were obliged to attend so Felicity sat in a seat to the right of the stage, grabbing the aisle seat so she could exit quickly. She knew Oliver would be performing. It would hurt even though she had seen him sing countless amounts of times. She’d even collaborated with him once or twice, but it was different now because they were no longer friends and he could easily see her from the stage if he looked, and she would see the disappointment behind those blue eyes.

Felicity moved uncomfortably in her seat, tugging at the end of her bodycon dress and crossing and re-crossing her high heeled feet. The show had already been on for an hour and a half before Oliver’s name was called out.

Felicity held her breath as he walked on stage. He was still the same old Oliver, who told off the bully, who tugged on her pigtails in elementary school, the same Oliver, who held her as she cried when her Daddy didn’t come home, the same Oliver, who trekked across Starling City in his pyjamas with a pint of mint choc chip ice cream because her favourite character in a show died. Her Oliver.

Oliver stood in the centre of the stage with his guitar dangling across his chest. It was the same guitar Felicity had gotten him as a graduation present. Oliver loved it so much he named it after her. Or he wanted to, but Felicity didn’t want her name on it so Oliver opted for the meaning of her name, therefore “Happiness” was etched into the base of the guitar. Felicity couldn’t believe he still had it, let alone that he would use it today.

Oliver cleared his throat, then raised his head to look out at the crowd before he spoke. “Hi, I’m Oliver. I’m going to sing an original song called ‘Who You Are.’” Once he finished speaking, Oliver stepped back and adjusted the strings on the guitar.

As Oliver started playing, Felicity found herself getting lost in the melody like she always used to, when she had sneaked out to listen to him. As always, it was calming. Then Oliver started singing and Felicity’s heart stopped.

_I stare at my reflection in the mirror,_

_Why am I doing this to myself?_

_I’m losing my mind on a tiny error,_

_I nearly left the real me on the shelf_

_No-no-no-no_

Felicity’s eyes were glued to the stage, her breathing becoming ragged. She knew in her heart and soul that that song was about her, about all the things she had done. How she was losing herself. Oliver’s eyes were closed shut; the emotion in his voice was highly evident as he sang.

_Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars_

_Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,_

_And it’s okay not to be okay_

_And sometimes it’s hard, to follow your heart_

_Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising_

_Just be true to who you are._

Tears began to pool in Felicity’s eyes. He was singing this to her. Oliver was pouring his heart out to her on that stage, telling her everything he wanted her to know and everything she needed.

_Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?_

_I forgot what to do to fit the mould,_

_The more I try the less it's working, yeah,_

_When everything inside me screams,_

_no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah_

Felicity’s bottom lip began to tremble. It was all too real for her. Even though Oliver hadn’t been in her life during the last few months he still understood everything she was going through. Oliver’s eyes opened and he searched the crowd until his gaze fell upon Felicity and their eyes locked as he continued singing the chorus.

_Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars_

_And seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,_

_And it’s okay not to be okay_

_Sometimes it’s hard, to follow your heart_

_Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising_

_Just be true to who you are_

Oliver’s eyes never left Felicity as he belted out each line, each and every syllable to her. Felicity was clutching the armrest so hard her knuckled turned white, the tears that were previously pooling her eyes were now tracking down her cheeks.

_Fake shows, egos, fake shows like whoa_

_Just go and leave me alone_ __

_Real talk, real love, good luck, goodnight. With a smile,_

_That’s my home,_

_That’s my home,_

_That’s my home_

Felicity was silently sobbing now; no one had noticed her crying even though she was sniffling quite loudly. As Oliver carried through the song his voice broke on certain notes, the real meaning clearly getting to him too.

_Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars._

_And seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing_

_And it’s okay not to be okay._

_Sometime it’s hard to follow your heart._

_Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising._

_Just be true to who you are._

_Who you are_

_Who you are…_

 

Felicity stood abruptly and ran out of the auditorium. She could faintly hear Oliver’s voice as he sang the last words over and over again. Once he finished, the entire room erupted into loud applauds and cheers.

What was she supposed to do now? How could this not make her feel like everything could be okay, like she could just go back when it wasn’t that easy or was it? Felicity had done so much to change, to be accepted that she got wrapped up in her own selfishness that she didn’t even think of how it would be affecting Oliver, who clearly wasn’t the only one trying to deal with her changing.

Felicity ran as fast as her heel clad feet would carry her. She found herself in the back of the small campus park, there was a small gap in the corner of the bushes leading to a clearing. She and Oliver used to come here, they had found it during their first week at Starling Academy. It had become their spot, where they hung out during lunches, before class or when they just wanted some peace.

Felicity moved over to the large oaken tree in the centre, unbuckled the straps on her heels and slipped her bare feet onto the cool soft grass. Leaving her shoes on the ground, she headed straight for the tree; moving her hand over the bark, the rough surface beneath her touch. She wound herself around the tree, tracing her way around until her fingers brushed a smooth patch. Felicity stopped in her tracks and looked at the area. Shaking hands moved over the letters that she had completely forgotten about. She could remember that day like it was yesterday.

* * *

 

  _“Oliver what are you doing?” Felicity asked as she approached Oliver, who was engraving something into the bark from the old oaken tree._

_“Dammit, you weren’t supposed to be here yet!” Oliver pouted, turning to face Felicity._

_“Well, too bad, Jitters wasn’t busy so it didn’t take as long as usual.” Felicity said as she approached Oliver with their lunch in hand._ _“So, what are you doing anyway?”_

_Oliver let out a small sigh. “This.” O.Q. + F.S. was carved into the center of the tree._

_“Why are our initials in a tree?” Felicity asked with a small smile._

_“Well, do you remember when we were kids and my parents wouldn’t let me go over to your house because it was in the Glades so I got that lousy butter knife and drew our names into the tree out your back yard?” Oliver laughed at the memory. “Do you remember what I told you?”_

_"Yeah, you said that whenever I got sad or lonely that I could go to the tree and you’d be there with me. Forever.”_

_“So that’s what this is for. I know I haven’t seen you half as much as I’d like due to my classes and playing at Archers, but if you ever need a token to show that I will always be here for you just look at this like you did when we were kids.”_

_“And that Oliver Jonas Queen is why you are my best friend.” Felicity wrapped her arms around over and hugged him tightly, trying not to spill the coffee in her hand or drop the food._

_“What are best friends for?” Oliver’s voice was light and she could tell he was smiling against her shoulder. Subsequently, they broke their hug and Oliver adjusted Felicity’s glasses that had slipped down her nose._

_“Do you want me to add anything else?” Oliver asked gesturing at the tree._

_Felicity took a full look at the etching. It was simple just like the one she still had at home._ _“No, it’s perfect.” Felicity told him with a blinding smile, exposing her small dimples._

* * *

 It was three weeks after that day when Felicity and Oliver drifted apart. She still visited the tree every now and again, but she never looked at the inscription. She just sat beneath the branches, running her fingers through the grass and let herself be herself just for a little while.

“I thought I might find you here.” A familiar voice carried through the air.

Felicity stopped dead in her tracks, she knew he would find her but just not so soon What was she supposed to say? Thank you for writing a song that made my heart feel as if it was torn open? Felicity knew she had to face him one way or another.

“Yeah, I guess I just needed some reminding.” Felicity sniffled, moving to face Oliver but not looking directly at him; her tear stained face clear in the illumination of the moonlight.

“Reminding of what?” Oliver asked as he gingerly approached her.

“Of what I had, who I am.” Felicity took a deep breath, trying to steady her ragged breathing. “And of what I’ve lost. I lost you.” She choked out the last words.

“Oh, Felicity.” Oliver breathed out as he dropped his guitar case on the grass and moved to scoop Felicity onto his embrace, his arms banding around her shaking frame as if he was the last thing holding her together.

That was the closest Felicity and Oliver had been to one another in months and neither realized just how much they had missed it. Even if it was only being in each other’s company, it felt right. It felt like home.

“I didn’t do that to hurt you Felicity. You know I hate seeing you in pain and you could never do anything to lose me.” Oliver whispered into her hair. Felicity’s hands were fisted into Oliver’s navy Henley; her knuckles were turning white from the grip she had on him.

“I k-know, i-it just got to m-me.” Felicity sobbed into Oliver’s chest, her tears dampening the skin beneath. “B-but I did, I lost you.”

Oliver let go of his hold on Felicity and cupped her tear soaked cheeks in his hands. “You listen to me Felicity no matter what happens, no matter what you did or do, I still endlessly love you with every fibre of my being just like I always have. I will always be with you.” Then he kissed her with all he had, showing her exactly how he felt. He poured all of his heart in her, his love, his pain and most importantly his hope. The hope that she would see that he loved her for who she was, not the thing she had become.

Felicity was frozen in time, her heart however was not. That was soaring higher than the space shuttle. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Oliver loved her. Like actually loved her and not in the platonic-friend way she always thought he did. The way she made herself believe he did and, oh, he was kissing her and she was kissing him back too.

She was kissing Oliver. Her best friend Oliver. Oliver Queen. The man she had loved ever since the day he smiled his beautiful crooked smile and helped her down from the monkey bars when she got stuck, forgetting she was afraid of heights.

They broke for air, resting their foreheads against one another. Their breaths mixing as they came out in pants, chests heaving, but instead of tears continuing their track down Felicity’s face they were replaced with a blinding smile and shining eyes.

“I have waited far too long to do that.” Oliver whispered in the air between them.

“You and me both.” Felicity giggled for the first time in what felt like forever, biting her lip trying to tame her smile. Oliver brushed his thumb over her lip, dislodging it from her teeth.

“You know I mean it right? I do love you Felicity.” Oliver was looking intently into her eyes, his azure pools searching her eyes for any sign of recognition or regret.

“And I love you.” Felicity nuzzled her nose against his, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. “Always have, always will.” She half stated, half promised him, pressing a small kiss to his lips.

Not much after that day, Felicity returned back to her blonde bubbly self. She and Oliver burned all remnants of “Fliss,” as Isabel had called her. She changed tight dresses for skater skirts, high heels for panda flats and bland décor for movie posters, box sets and comic books. She was back.

She and Oliver had decided to rent a small apartment outside of campus after just over a year of dating. They both wanted to get away from their roommates and they did, because after all, they still had a year left in Starling Academy, so why not make the most of it?

Even after Felicity had forgone her raven locks and upscale attire she still managed to remain friends with Laurel, Sara, Nyssa and Thea. Isabel wanted nothing to do with “Freaky Felicity.” After she had called Felicity that Thea was only overjoyed to pour her lemon iced tea over her immensely expensive Christian Dior dress. Revenge was a dish best served cold or in Isabel’s case it was a drink.

Oliver was still the same guy he always was, he still played at the Archers every Friday night, but every now and again he and Felicity would duet together on stage. Felicity only did it because it made Oliver happy and they didn’t sound half bad together.

After graduation, Oliver had gotten a recording contract with Verdant Records fronted by John Diggle, music extraordinaire. They were based in Starling so Oliver didn’t have to move to a different state which both he and Felicity were incredibly happy about. Felicity had gotten a job at Queen Consolidated in the IT department. It didn’t take her too long to be promoted to the head of IT. She loved her job and her little office with all its little knickknacks.

Oliver’s first single was “Who You Are.” And no matter how many times he sang it, Felicity always remembered back to the day beside that oaken tree when her life changed forever. When the single was released it went straight to number one and to celebrate it, both, Oliver and Felicity got tattooed. Oliver got _F.S_. on his wrist and Felicity got _O.Q_. on hers. Their tokens. Their reminders.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!  
> Please let me know what you thought, i would love to know!  
> Also Thea is a Merlyn because I didn't want her to be related to Oliver, simple as :)
> 
> As always thank you to my beautiful beta @WalkingOlicity. 
> 
> Until next time my friends :)


End file.
